"Can't" Is Not the Same Thing as "Won't"

There's a difference between "can't" and "won't." One has to do with abilities, the other with volition.

Not being able to do something is rarely the real explanation or excuse.

However, not wanting to do something or intentionally choosing not to do it is more often the case. Even seemingly making no decision is one for "won't" by default.

I don't think I can run a mile anymore in under 10 minutes - no matter how much I want to. Maybe if someone was chasing me. This is really a situation of can't. Others may have a heart condition, arthritis, breathing difficulties or other issues that prevent a particular physical accomplishment - at all or in a timely way.

This is entirely different than choosing not to do something because it's inconvenient or we don't want to schedule the time. We may not be as good at it as someone else, but we could still get it done.

So it comes down to choice. If we are physically or mentally prepared to do something but just choose not to, then the reason given should not be "I can't." It should be "I won't" or "I choose not to" or "I don't want to."

Saying "no" for a good reason is OK. We just need to be honest and admit it's usually because we choose not to rather than not being able to do it.

We also need to be honest with ourselves and realize that we are capable of doing more than we might initially give ourselves credit for. It make take a little more effort, but we can do it if we decide to.

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